分類
Personal Growth

All you need to be calm is a 5-min meditation

What is meditation?

There are many different types of meditation, but most of them are derived from Buddhist meditation, whereas modern meditation is adapted and secularized, removing the religious elements and extracting the scientific practice.

How do I meditate?

Now that you know what meditation is, you must be thinking about how to do it? The question sounds a little like asking someone how to play sports. They will find it incomprehensible seeing that there are different sports types, like baseball, basketball, etc.

So does meditation, falling into which are mindfulness meditation, mantra meditation, and the like. But the greatest common factor among all sorts of meditation is that they’re all mainly about training our self-awareness.

For the following articles, we’re going to focus mostly on mindfulness meditation because it’s the fundamental one that many other meditations are built on, that’s easy for beginners to get started with, and that’s very popular all over the world right now.
As with meditation, there is no absolute definition of what mindfulness meditation is, but most people agree that “it’s about being openly focused on the moment, without judgment. As you go through your day examining your thoughts, you may find yourself constantly reflecting on the past, calculating the future, feeling regret, anxiety, and worry, with little time to focus on the present and feel deeply about what you are doing in the present. Mindfulness meditation is the practice of getting our minds out of all this chaos and back into the present.
If the above is too abstract for you, think about whether you can do something you like, forget the flow of time, and forget to eat or sleep. This kind of state of mind allows you to be fully immersed in the present moment instead of thinking about the future.
You’re probably thinking, “Well, that’s something you can’t get intentionally, so how do I practice mindfulness meditation? Here is a simple 5-minute relaxation meditation to start.

5-Minute Relaxation Meditation Method

Step 1: Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down in a relaxed way, as long as you feel comfortable. If you are sitting, remember to straighten your back, lying down to be careful not to fall asleep.

Step 2: Concentrate on your breathing, feel the changes in your body, focus on one part of your body, and concentrate your attention on the subtle changes in that part.

Step 3: Become self-aware and accept all that you are experiencing. During mindfulness meditation, you will find all sorts of thoughts in your mind trying to take your attention away from your breath. Don’t worry. It’s completely normal. Gently bring your attention back to the breath when you’re aware that your attention is on it, and you don’t have to keep thinking about it, and you don’t have to blame yourself when distractions surface. The whole process is like standing on the platform, watching a train pass by, coming and going, coming and going, and all you have to do is stay still on the platform, watching them come and go, and not walking onto those cars. When you realize you’ve accidentally walked onto a carriage, it’s okay to step off the car when you notice, walk back to the platform, and continue to watch them come and go.

分類
正念冥想

冥想,每天五分鐘簡易操作方式

冥想是什麼?

其實冥想是一個總稱,裡面有許多不同的種類,但大多數都是源自佛教的沈思,而現代冥想都是經過改編並且世俗化過後的,去除其中的宗教成分,而將科學實踐的部分提取出來。

如何冥想?

知道冥想是什麼之後,你肯定在想那我該如何操作呢?其實這個問題就像在問如何運動一樣,運動有很多不同總類,像是棒球、籃球,而冥想總類像是正念冥想、咒语冥想等,但他們主要都是在訓練我們自身自我覺察的能力。

而我們接下來會專著在正念冥想上,因為許多其他冥想方式都是建構在它之上的,而且對於初學者來說,它能輕易上手,目前全世界也都十分流行這種冥想方式。

就和冥想一樣,並沒有一個絕對的定義什麼是正念冥想,但多數人同意「它是坦然地專注在當下,不加以批判。」當你在一天中檢查自身想法時,你也許會發現自己不斷在反省過去,盤算未來,一直懊悔、焦慮、擔憂,很少有時間專注在當下,並深深感受當下正在做的事情。而正念冥想就是練習讓我們的心靈從這些紛雜中脫離出來,並回歸到當下。

如果上面的說法對你來說太抽象,那你回想一下,自己是否在做某些自己喜歡的事情時,能做到忘記時間的流動,廢寢忘食,如果有,那你其實已經是在正念冥想了。這種心境能讓你全然沈浸在當下,而不是思前想後。

你這時肯定在想,那種狀態是可遇而不可求的啊,那我究竟該如何練習正念冥想呢?這裡先介紹一個簡單的5分鐘輕鬆冥想法。

5分鐘輕鬆冥想法

第一步:找一個舒適的地方,以輕鬆的方式坐著、躺著都可以,只要你覺得舒服即可,如果是坐著記得腰背要挺直,躺著時要小心別睡著了。

第二步:專注在你的呼吸,感受身體部位的變化起伏,專注在一個部位上就可以了,將全部注意力集中在這個部位的細微變化上。

第三步:自我覺察並接受它,在正念冥想時,你會發現腦中有各式各樣的想法試圖將你的注意力從呼吸上帶走,別擔心,這完全是正常的,只需要在察覺自己的注意力不在呼吸上時,輕輕地將注意力帶回到呼吸上就可以了,不需要一直想著不要走神,走神時,也不需要苛責自己。整個過程就像是站在月台上,看著一輛輛行駛而過的火車,來了又走,走了又來,而你要做的就只是靜靜地待在月台上,看著它們來來去去,不走到那些車上。當你察覺到自己不小心走上一輛車,沒關係,慢慢走下那輛車,走回月台上,繼續看著它們出現又消失。

分類
Personal Growth

Followable ways to lead you through the process of making a change.

Is it easy for you to make a change? If so, how do you feel when the bell of New Year chimes? Do you feel content that you take good care of yourself from bad habits or suffer distress at the lists of things you have not done?

You have heard a bunch of reasons telling you why it is hard to make a change. However, it is more critical to guide you on how to do it than why bad habits stick, right? Sometimes, our resistance to changes is not because we don’t know the ropes but because we don’t know ourselves. We have developed a concrete system to cope with things; however, changes require us to overhaul, even replace conventional approaches. Then long-serving practice is likely to prevail in the fight with newcomers unless we put in efforts to probe the profound motives behind our actions, which is what we love and what makes us frightened to greet significant changes.

Hopefully, Robert Kegan invented a tool to assist us in scanning our minds to nose about hidden motivation. He thinks there is an immune system in our psyche, which, like what the immune system in our body does, help us crack down on something unfamiliar. The psycho-immune system is essentially an anxiety control system. The anxiety we fall into is preceded by changes in our conduct, after which we dust off customary manners to balance our minds. That is the reason why we are apt to be confined to a comfort zone.

How to take action?

First, write down the actions you want to take. For example, express your own opinion in public.

Second, find out what contradicting things you have done. For instance, you tend to keep silent while disagreeing with others or echo others’ thinking instead of putting forward your own after mulling over it.

Third, discover hidden benefits behind the conduct incoherent with your goal. In the above example, not presenting your thoughts keeps you from making mistakes, labels around stupidity others may stick on you.

Last but not least, revisit the fundamental assumptions lurking in your behaviors. In the instance, you fear that giving viewpoints with flaws may incur ridicule. However, that assumption is questionable and deserves reviews.

With this toolkit, you can find the decisive straw that breaks your elephant’s back and become a shrewd rider to navigate your future.

分類
Personal Growth

What is comfort zone? Is it really comfortable? Does it make us refuse changes?

You may hear people from time to time telling you to get out of your comfort zone, but what is a comfort zone? It is intuitive to think of it as a place where we feel secure and comfortable. For example, after getting a job that can barely secure you from starving, you stick to it and lose your passion to climb up the career ladder, albeit it doesn’t give you any sense of achievement. However, things are far from that simple considering the situation of Brooks Hatlen.

In The Shawshank Redemption, he has been put behind the bar for around 50 years. When learning the news that he is going to be released, all he feels is anything but exhilarating. He then finds a way to stay in prison — killing someone; after the clock ticks to the time he can be discharged from jail, he commits suicide to duck out of fear of leaving the cage.
What he says in the movie is, “These walls are funny. First, you hate ’em; then you get used to ’em. Enough time passes, you get, so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized.”

You may wonder lock-ups are places where prisoners serve a sentence, and they are seldom related to something comfortable. Why does he consider them “funny”?

In effect, a comfort zone does not necessarily mean a place where you may feel comfortable but an interaction with the environment to which you are no stranger.

A Comfort zone makes us feel secure and relaxed and gives us the feeling that everything is in control. It is, in essence, a solution to our panic in anything we are unacquainted with. The more severe we sense the threats, the more tendency we have to grip the existing approaches. What’s more, it is also a blockage in our minds to make a change in our lives.

It is the evasion of anxiety and the need to control that drive ourselves back to familiar places and resist any changes. Only by dropping the habitual keys can we find a more promising door leading to a change.

分類
Personal Growth

How to make changes more relaxed than you expected? These few steps to help you run into a virtuous cycle to make a positive change.

When it comes to change, if you are the kind of person, who thinks just do it, then do you still remember how many times have you made up your mind to lose weight? How many new year resolutions you’ve made are in effect accomplished?

Don’t be guilty. You are not the only one.

To know why it is so hard to make changes and how to overcome obstacles, we have to learn more about our brain. Our brain is made up of two sides, the emotional one and the rational one, and they interact with each other to influence how we respond to changes. To better explain the mixed relationship, a psychologist calls the emotional one elephant, the rational one rider.

It might look like the elephant’s rider is in charge of the elephant, so the rider can do whatever he wants; however, when their opinions differ, the elephant usually wins. A rein the rider hold could seemingly choose the direction the elephant should go; it is, in effect, a drop in the ocean.

For instance, when the rider makes you determine that you get up early to work out, the elephant tends to remind you of the duvet to extinguish your willingness. Then after you calm the alarming clock, you go straight back to the cozy home.

Don’t be pessimistic. Coins always have two sides. The elephant could ruin your plan as well as facilitate it, depending on how it is guided. As for changes, the elephant can offer the impetus while the rider gives the direction.

To make changes indeed happen, it requires two things to work together, making good use of the elephant as a stitch in time saves nine.

The three main characteristics of the elephant for us to tame it:

  1. Great Strength: Once the power of the elephant is triggered, it becomes wild and uncontrollable.
  2. Emotional: It can be driven by anxiety, fear, and some negative emotions, along with love, pity, empathy, and other positive ones.
  3. Good Memory: Experience will determine how it responds to the future one. It knows what it experienced rather than what it will get.

The first two are quite straightforward, and you might wonder how to generate new positive experience to let the elephant remember. The answer is to get a small one and then cement it, which will eventually become a virtuous cycle. The Pavlov dog experiment can tell the story. Pavlov is ringing the bell while the dog is eating, which establishes a connection between the sound and the food. After a few times, the dog will water every time the bell rings even though there is no food served to it.

An example illustrates the technique. You want to go jogging in the morning to have a good shape. You don’t have to draw a big picture but do nothing at all. All you have to do is get up 30 mins earlier to go walking a few yards. In the wake of the accumulating accomplishments, the elephant will change from resistance to embracing it. With gradual improvement, get up much earlier to run more than a few miles will be a dream come true. What’s more, this successful experience of change will convince the elephant that it is not horrifying to make a change, which in that event makes the process of changing easier.

Always remember you can build a better self if you learn the ropes. Next time, when stuck in a bad habit, don’t worry and stay calm to find the right leverage so as to lift the bulky elephant.

分類
效率提升

為何某些人更容易拖延?如何從根本打破壞習慣?

相信你在與他人共事時曾發現,有一群人做事總是迅雷不及掩耳,三下兩下就把事情給解決了,但有另一群人,總是習慣拖拖拖,非得拖到了最後期限,才如熱鍋上的螞蟻,草草把事情完成。

拖延就是一種習慣,就像任何習慣一樣,我們可以強化它,也能削弱它。 因為我們都個古老的大腦,所以任何人都可能養成拖延的習慣。那到底是什麼東西使得某些人比另一些人更容易拖延呢?

這包含生理和心理方面的因素。像是某些人特別容易感到壓力大、焦慮、沮喪、曾遭受過創傷、擁有較低的自尊、或由於疾病、健康狀況較差或遺傳等原因,導致執行功能缺陷,那就可能比其他人更容易陷入拖延的壞習慣。

簡單來說,當我們愈容易感受到負面情緒,而且感受愈強烈時,我們的大腦就愈容易產生抵抗,我們也就愈容易拖延。

所以,如果我們想避免陷入惡性循環,就要試著打破其中的環節,用之前所提到的方法,如改變心態、調整截止期限、減少干擾,讓自己養成新的習慣,以擺脫拖拖拖的窘境。

分類
Personal Growth

Don’t you have a choice? No? Stop cheating yourself. You always have a choice.

The most familiar words the sentences begin with I have ever heard are, ‘I have no choice…’

I have no choice but to stick to the job I dislike.
I have no choice but to quit it.
I have no choice but to accept it.

We have a tendency to attribute the problems we encounter to the uncontrollable circumstances, harsh situations, social inequality, and so on.

These haunting things continuously have a significant impact on us and then make us believe in the notion that we have no choice.

However, we always have a choice.

When we choose to stick to a job we hate, it only implies that we don’t want to risk anything to achieve what we like.

When we choose to abandon something, it means that we don’t want to put more considerable effort to make it better, which is much more complicated than saying ‘I have no choice but to quit it.’

When we say that we have no choice but to accept it, it only exhibits our propensity to comfort zones.

Even when we reckon that we have no choice, we have chosen to think in this way.

We tend to regard choices as ideal ones, so after realizing that the available choices are not as good as we think, we complained: “I have no choice.”

I beg to differ. Choices are based on realities at the moment instead of imaginary ones. The decisions we made are all about actions at present rather than in the future.

For instance, When you are doing a job, which you don’t like, and you can’t pursue my dream jobs. The reason is you have to bring home the bacon and can’t risk losing it. So You think you have no choice.

Nevertheless, the truth is that you are loath to chase after the jobs you like at the expense of anything, so you choose to endure the job you dislike.

Moreover, It is hard for us to admit that we have a choice because we are, therefore, responsible for the tough situations we are in.

So the next time, when you conceive that you are going to spill ‘I have no choice…,’ you better hold your mouth and rethink whether you, in effect, have no choice, or it is your reluctance to confess we do have a choice.

分類
效率提升

小小的3步驟,有效避免拖延症復發

因為我們大腦會本能地讓我們遠離那些使我們感覺恐懼的事情,所以我們經常拖延。但是別太擔心,我們大腦還有一項武器——前額葉,它和我們設定目標和計劃未來有關,能在某些程度上抑制這種逃避的本能。

避免拖延症的關鍵就是強化前額葉,我們能夠練習讓前額葉來掌控局面,而不是任由本能來操縱我們。

除此之外,還有一些好用的方法能減少觸發本能性迴避,例如:改變心態、調整截止期限和減少干擾。

  1. 改變心態:我們會習慣拖延,有部分原因是因為我們是個潛在的完美主義者,在不斷追求完美的路上,容易使大腦感到負擔過大,因此選擇拖延再拖延。所以首先要做的就是打破完美主義心態,將思考點從「達到最完美的境界」,轉變為「只要還過得去就可以了」,以此降低心理負擔、減輕大腦的恐懼。
  2. 調整截止期限:替任務設下較為緊迫的截止日期,能使大腦產生警覺性。沒有截止日期或是太長的截止日期,容易讓我們習慣於將任務拖到最後一刻才完成,而設下一個更加緊迫的截止日期,能夠快速激發我們潛在的效率,避免拖延。想想上次完成任務時,最有效率的時候是不是截止日期前的幾個小時?
  3. 減少干擾:我們人類天生就容易受到外界刺激的影響,因此很難將注意力專注在一件事情上,更別說我們現今處在充滿干擾的環境中。可以嘗試在準備專注做事情之前,將手機放在別處,讓自己處在一個較少受到外界干擾的地方,使自己能夠專注於眼前的工作。

藉由這些小方法,能夠讓我們輕鬆遠離拖延症,更有效率地完成任務。

分類
效率提升

為什麼我們習慣拖延?原來就是你在作怪

經過上一篇的講解,大家應該都能發現自己就是拖延症的受害者,那到底為什麼我們會這麼容易拖延呢?
這就不能不提到我們的大腦,這顆掌管著記憶、思考、決策及身體活動的大腦。我們喜歡拖延很大一部分原因是因為我們大腦感到恐懼,恐懼是所有動物都具備的生存本能,這能讓我們免於死亡的威脅,得以延續人類這個物種。

而大腦主要就是讓我們遠離以下事情:

  1. 那些會讓我們產生恐慌的
  2. 那些結果會有太多不確定性的
  3. 那些期望值過低的

前兩者比較好理解,非洲草原上的獅子,肯定能立刻使我們產生恐慌,一看到他們,最好什麼都別想,先讓自己閃得遠遠的。太過於不確定則可能讓我們不小心將自己暴露在危險之中,所以我們傾向於迴避。而期望值過低的事情,就是指當我們做這件事情時,需要花費大量的精力,但所得到的回報可能相對沒那麼值得。

這種大腦機制能讓我們在面臨食物匱乏而危機四伏遠古時期,得以存活下來。但這些曾經讓我們活下來的機制,在現代就顯點有些格格不入。

在今日,我們生活的環境早已和遠古時期有著天壤之別,但我們的大腦和遠古時期的人類沒有什麼差別,這就導致了我們那張長長的代辦清單上,還有許多未完成的事項。

看到這裡,你不禁會有疑問,那些事項不像獅子一樣會吃掉我們,為什麼我們的大腦會對於要做的事情感到如此大的恐懼,而使我們不斷拖延呢?為什麼我們遲遲無法專注下來把事情完成呢?

那很可能是因為目前正在著手的這項任務對於大腦來說太過艱難了、太過不確定或是期望值太低,亦或是三者的綜合,完成它所需花費的時間過長,還要消耗大量的能量,而又不一定能成功,成功後又不能獲得什麼利益,這才使得我們這顆大腦一直抗拒它。

所以當你在面對一項任務時,負面情緒不斷出現,那就很可能是這個本能的防衛機制已經啟動了。

下一篇就來說說該怎麼修正這個過時的系統吧。

分類
效率提升

什麼是拖延症?這種病人人有,現代人不陌生

試著想想以下場景,相信你能迅速理解什麼是拖延症。

當你得知需要在下週五之前完成一項重要的任務時,心裡想著,一定要從今天開始做,並在這週之前完成它,

想著想著,你突然發現桌角的塵蟎如春草一般向四處蔓延,於是你決定先整理一下桌子,等桌子乾淨後,就能專注在工作上了。

過一陣子,桌面一塵不染後,眼角餘光突然發現這房間的地板有些髒亂,才想起早已經大半年沒清理過這間房間了,於是你二話不說,開始將房間從裡到外仔細打掃一番……

直到到了夜深人靜,在床上翻來覆去,反思今天做了哪些事情時,才赫然發現今天怎麼就這樣子過完了,竟然忘記了原來打算在今天開始著手的工作。

想到這裡,你十分懊悔,並發誓明天一定要開始著手處理這項工作。

結果日復一日,你一邊拖延著手上必須完成的工作,一邊焦慮,還一邊譴責不斷拖延的自己,直到截止的最後一刻,你才痛定思痛,認真坐在椅子上把它完成。

你有沒有從上面的故事體會到似成相識的慘痛經驗?

這是什麼?

這就是拖延症:明明知道這件事要需要馬上完成,卻總是不斷拖延,而且還一邊拖延,一邊焦慮,直到最後一刻才不得不完成工作。

當然這里所說的事情,並不只是那些討人厭的工作,仔細想想自己是不是曾經想過要看完一齣劇、玩完一個電子遊戲,到現在真正做完了嗎?

總而言之,拖延症就是不斷不理性地躲開需要完成或想要完成的任務。

下一篇文章,我就試著解釋一下為什麼我們總是習慣拖延吧。

我大概會在明天寫出來吧,下週好了,下個月好了。(我也是個拖延症患者🤪🤪🤪)