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Personal Growth

Followable ways to lead you through the process of making a change.

Is it easy for you to make a change? If so, how do you feel when the bell of New Year chimes? Do you feel content that you take good care of yourself from bad habits or suffer distress at the lists of things you have not done?

You have heard a bunch of reasons telling you why it is hard to make a change. However, it is more critical to guide you on how to do it than why bad habits stick, right? Sometimes, our resistance to changes is not because we don’t know the ropes but because we don’t know ourselves. We have developed a concrete system to cope with things; however, changes require us to overhaul, even replace conventional approaches. Then long-serving practice is likely to prevail in the fight with newcomers unless we put in efforts to probe the profound motives behind our actions, which is what we love and what makes us frightened to greet significant changes.

Hopefully, Robert Kegan invented a tool to assist us in scanning our minds to nose about hidden motivation. He thinks there is an immune system in our psyche, which, like what the immune system in our body does, help us crack down on something unfamiliar. The psycho-immune system is essentially an anxiety control system. The anxiety we fall into is preceded by changes in our conduct, after which we dust off customary manners to balance our minds. That is the reason why we are apt to be confined to a comfort zone.

How to take action?

First, write down the actions you want to take. For example, express your own opinion in public.

Second, find out what contradicting things you have done. For instance, you tend to keep silent while disagreeing with others or echo others’ thinking instead of putting forward your own after mulling over it.

Third, discover hidden benefits behind the conduct incoherent with your goal. In the above example, not presenting your thoughts keeps you from making mistakes, labels around stupidity others may stick on you.

Last but not least, revisit the fundamental assumptions lurking in your behaviors. In the instance, you fear that giving viewpoints with flaws may incur ridicule. However, that assumption is questionable and deserves reviews.

With this toolkit, you can find the decisive straw that breaks your elephant’s back and become a shrewd rider to navigate your future.